"You have 4 kids!??"
"You don't look old enough!"
"You're crazy!"
"How on earth do you do it?"
I have heard it all, time and time again. Basically every time I step out in public a stranger offers their surprised remarks. Each time I shared the news that I was expecting again I received more "you're crazy" than I heard "congratulations". Being a young wife and homeschooling momma of 4 little ones is not for the faint of heart, to say the very least. There are days that I question where my sanity was when I dreamed of this life for myself. Funny isn't it? We finally obtain our dreams, but once they become tangible, they are usually nothing as we imagined them to be. I have learned a lot about life and maturity in the past 7 years of being a mom and wife. Every lesson came by walking through some challenges and a lot of trial and error.
I can sit here now and share a list of practical tips to maintaining balance, your sanity, and order in your home. Furthermore, I could give you this list while also explaining how to accomplish it all with grace and tact. The list would be made up of my type-A checklist of dos and do nots. Followed by disciplinary acts that are effective and the ones that are not so much. How to's from parenting, to homeschooling, and even being a wife that respects and serves her husband. It is a challenging life to balance but with some effort, grit, and most of all, the ability to admit when you've messed up, you will find out what you're made of. We are all striving for the same thing right? To be the best wife and mother we can be. To be all our family needs. Or perhaps, you're a career mom, working to be the woman at work and at home that is required of you.
Well, here it is, my biggest secret and the purpose of todays blog. I, in fact, do not balance this life well at all. I fail miserably all the time. I yell at the kids, then hate myself for it. I am quick to apologize, but nonetheless, I still need to apologize often. I unintentionally disrespect my husband with my "independent spirit" that I'm still working on. I say things I don't mean, including those ridiculous statements we parents make like, "You're going to be grounded for the rest of your life!" (Really?? Just learn to laugh at yourself). I get burned out and worn out. I get tired and overwhelmed. I can be sensitive and selfish. I can be easily frustrated. More than all of these things though, I can be made aware of my need for Him.
It's in admitting I can't do this without Him that He gently whispers, "Its okay, because you don't have to".
So how do I balance it all?
My secret is that I have no secret at all, I just have Jesus.
I don't start a single day without waking first to His presence. Each and every day, I am grateful His mercies are new. I wake and take time to abide in Him. I realize my deep need for Him and surrender to His spirit. The days in which I don't take these moments first and foremost are the days I become all of the things I before mentioned. My secret is that I can't do this life without Him. Anytime I have tried I stumble and fall. I do everything short of balancing it all. I can strive. I can think I've got this, and then again I fall short. Why? We were never meant to do life on our own. We were created to need Him. We don't need to take the pressure of being the best spouse or parent on our shoulders. That's too great a burden to bear. Raising children and doing life as one with your spouse is too difficult a task to carry out without Him
It is not weakness to need Him, as my independent and type-A self would have thought. It's in fact strength to realize your need for Him; to be humble enough, and brave enough to surrender control to Him. To trust Him with your very own children and that spouse you love so dearly requires courage. Take my word for it, as a wife and mom of 4; we can't be all our family needs without first realizing our need for Him.
Each time He said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 2 Cor. 12:9
I would love to hear from you! What are some ways you balance your busy and exhausting life? Lets be honest here, prior to posting I had a beautiful family picture with all smiles and elegance, but the above photo is a much more accurate depiction of how we cope!